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My partner and I are on our second try after being apart for 11.5 years. This book has been very helpful with regard to setting boundaries and listening to each other. We were together, with one another, for 5 years during our last partnership. Already, this book has helped us by continuing to keeping the lines of communication open.
We have just started reading this book and that may seem unfair to already write a review but this book has that "Ah ha" that others books don't touch even after reading the entire book. Both my husband & I are on our 3rd marriage so we read a lot of marriage books to stay ahead of the game. That's why I wanted to go ahead and write a review. None of them hit the nail on the head like this one does. If you've been in a relationship before, currently or have witnessed your parents or friends relationships you can relate to this book. If you're looking for help or prevention, look no further. This book is it.
I've consumed many self-help books about improving marital relationships, and this is one of the most succinctly written expose on the science of making a marriage work. The information is very grounded in research and the content is useful from the outset, not just a hodge-podge of theories, but useful, tangible content that can be used daily.
This is probably the best book on marriage on the market. Gottman thinks outside the box, making understanding how to have a good marriage both practical and possible. Men, especially, need to read this book.
D. Let your partner influence you (especially for husbands).5. Create shared meaning.Gottman includes his version of "The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse" that spell real trouble for any marriage: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Overcome gridlock.7. 40) Based on this research Gottman has developed seven principles (hence the name of his book) that when applied will help strengthen marriages. That's right.
Over the past few decades Gottman has invited couples to spend a weekend in a wired apartment (dubbed the 'Love Lab') where their conversations - even their heart rates - are monitored by a team of relational scientists. As a result Gottman says: ".I can predict a divorce by hearing only one discussion between a husband and wife." (p. John Gottman, Ph. It is presented in a clear and direct way that makes it very accessible for couples to use on their own, with the help of a marriage mentor or therapist, or in a small group setting. Turn toward each other instead of away.4. Solve your solvable problems.6. If you're looking for a book filled with biblical references you will need to look elsewhere.
Enhance your love maps (know what makes each other tick).2. has a unique approach to helping married couples live happily ever after: he subjects them to scientific research. Unfortunately, most couples will recognize one or more of these horsemen in their own marriages. The seven principles are:1. Nurture fondness and admiration (appreciate each other)3. The beauty of "Seven Principles" is that Gottman develops each principle and provides a series of exercises to help couples put them into practice. But if you're looking for a fresh approach to marital health that is consistent with biblical principles then Gottman's "Seven Principles" should be part of your tool kit.
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